Start of the second semester

The feeling of being an IITian has seeped and we are accustomed with the system by now. So the first humungous task was selection of subjects. Well this sounds a very easy thing but in IIT where you can select any subject from an array of so many subjects it’s really maddening. Figure this, out of 4 subjects I studied one was in Aerospace department, one was in Energy department and only 2 were in my department although the subject in Aerospace department was connected to my course the course in Energy was on how to harness solar energy. I swear this subject did not even have the farthest relation to what I am studying. This subject is like solar power for dummies and I took it just for the sake of grades. Because everyone knows that in the end what matters are grades! But well I studied something and sure it was interesting at the end. Another subject which ripped my mind apart quite literally was “Fracture Mechanics”. Its seems good to hear but the actual theory behind it is something which involved great concepts like singularity and complex mapping and god knows what all. It was really startling to know that to what depth has the science progressed. This subject I swear can really cause madness as can be seen from our faculty. Anyone who can master this is nothing short of an astro-physicist. Last subject was such a bore that I always stood last in all the quizzes including the last exam and barely scored well enough to keep me afloat in that subject. All said and done this finishes the academic part of this semester. (THANKS A LOT THAT THE ACADEMIC PART IS OVER)

Long time no see

Well haven’t been able to post anything since last six month may be I lost the touch. But am back and wish to follow it as long as I can. It has been a eventful six months so have many stories and views to share but slowly and steadily one after another, not an overdose. Lets see how long can I keep my promise.

Reclaim your life!

Might seem directly out of the commercial but this is something i feel from the depth of my heart! I am finally feeling i have reclaimed my life, now someone may ask when did i lose it. Well i had been working for one year and they try to kill your life in every single aspect that they can, your ambitions, your wishes, your enjoyments and your happiness. Well its like using a fire hydrant on your inner fire. It surely cannot be felt when you are working its like "You cannot see the picture when you are in the frame" and it cannot also be felt when you are studying cause you never know what you are going to face on the other side. But trust me i have seen both the sides of life and i am thankful to whatever force control's the events of this universe that he gave me the courage to step out of the conventional and be free from what i was been dragged into. When we were children or for that young we use to think of all the things we might do when we become adults or 'big for that case', but what has happened we have lost that dream along the way. We have become fearful of acting foolishly, of letting ourselves lose, doing what we feel. This thing needs to be unlearned this creates limit's inside our minds sets limitations for us and all this is but stunting our growth. If your spark is still fluttering and burning you can think more creatively be more confident and do what you feel. Its like you are on high, i have personally never ever had dope, but doing what my heart says and acting foolishly (in a manner that i feel is correct not worrying much about others) gets me on a high of another kind. I literally feel that i am on skates and can put the whole world on fire, that feeling in itself is so satiating and so good you would like to have that kick again and again. The day you can have that kind of feeling and kick throughout trust me you can accomplish anything, just any damn thing. But for that you need to get out of the set method of thinking get out of the conventional and do what your heart beats for. Now i really feel the essence of the saying that "When your passion becomes your job it isn't work anymore its like a lifetime of love and the love deepens with passing time". I surely have reclaimed my life its just that i have to concentrate it on something but one thing is sure. Please never lose your inner spark, that life its all you got. If thats lost you do not have much to salvage then.

Nerd!

Finally back from Bombay after an excruciating exam, which was like going on forever. For the first time in my life i was reading like this, ten hours a day regularly for one month. Now i understood what a nerd is. And its not an easy task to become one, but surely i would not like to become one. It requires lots of patience and lots of hard work. Its like you should have the patience to sit at one place for atleast 5 hours (at one go) and then you have to read that book (which you do not like that much) for so many hours and then over that you also need to think about what the author might have been thinking while writing all those glorious words(crap). And when finally you have a flash of light somewhere in your head which says yes! Finally the "Aha!" moment then you know that you have understood why in the whole world were you reading some differential equations which resembled the notes of music arranged in rather a precarious way. Its really the best moment, its as if you have won the world, its in this moment that you feel everything is worth it. But i must admit that those who think that being nerdy is uncool are totally wrong. It takes lots of planning and sacrifice's to become one, you have to give up your social life, you have to leave aside every single thought of your mind and then you have to be totally determined. Also you have to keep your mind kicking all the time its as difficult as keeping your body kicking if you are a athlete. You have to be mentally alert and fit for say ten hours a day or may be more. That's not a piece of cake. It takes lots of determination to become one. I also used to think that being nerdy is uncool, but now i rather respect them then disregard them cause i know it takes lot to become one. And now in my dictionary nerd is rather a good word then being a disgrace. But still i would not like to become one cause i do not have the patience to become one.

Amphetamine called Mumbai

Mumbai the city of dream's the city where everything else comes true, this city i must say has a peculiar thing in itself, its quite fast. Not quite fast lets say its very fast, speaking truly it runs at maddening speed, i have been there only for 3 months now and been out only a few time but some how this city has got into my blood, or can say got onto my nerves. Few signs of this, I walk unusually fast and get irritated at being late and now i like standing it does not worry, walking a distance of 15 minutes is not too difficult for me and that's usual part of my day. I do not know why everyone is Mumbai runs but they run somewhere, and they are always in some hurry. It's something you might get frustrated with at first and will get accustomed as time passes. It feels as if you have amphetamine and you are high. Cause suddenly you feel more lively and feel more energetic you like to pick up a fight and would feel like putting the whole world on fire (in positive sense of course). The confidence level of a person changes cause you are on your own out there. This city surely has got a personality of its own, its different, you have to get accustomed to it. The most stark difference of this can be felt on the main gate of the campus as soon as you step inside the atmosphere its quite serene and calm, the main gate is as if the boundary between two cities, you have to shift your gears quite literally if you wanna get out in the city. But that is something that some people may like and few many not, but that is the way this city runs.

A star status

Once you are into IIT one thing you get for free is attention and a star status, this term star status is the only thing which can define what is the feeling once you are into IIT, there are several privileges. I got a feel of this once when i was in train, there came a police constable for regular check up round and asked everyone to open up their bags, he asked what was their professions and all details, i was sleeping he woke me up and asked what did i do, i said i was a student and he asked from which college i replied IIT, he said sleep no need to open your bag. I said well this is something i have not felt ever before, it was quite astounding to me, but it was real. This got me to thinking means all right we have the privilege but along with that comes responsibility if people are giving us this status its because we mean something more we have the onus open us to prove to the world, we have to contribute and also to give back something to the society and country as a whole. The other day i was joking with my friend and we drew a conclusion "We can talk utter rubbish but still people will atleast give it a thought." Well that statement as a prima facie is quite humorous but underneath it has a sense of privilege along with responsibility attached to it. We now have the privilege of speaking things and expressing thoughts which people will listen to and would follow, its not that we did not have this thoughts before, its just that now it has a sense of authenticity and credibility because of the institution we are affiliated to. So whatever we convey should be with a sense of responsibility. We had this excellent professor, whenever we would ask him a question he said you are now designers you are going to design things you are going to decide in what manner the thing works and you are the god for that product or whatever it might me. Whenever he use to say that it use to get me thinking cause in a way he was right. It was the privilege for us to decide the manner something would work and the manner in which people or the end user is going to use it and the facilities we would be giving him it was some sort of a power you have but it brings responsibility cause now people trust that you are going to design things and products which are not only going to be reliable but are also going to make their live more comfortable. So along with having the power to decide how will people use a product you also have the responsibility of fulfilling all their needs from that product. Last experience i had was when i attended this Pre-Placement Talk by BCG. Well although i have two years to go before i attend one i just attended it for having some experience of what a PPT is like and the company is all about, one of their senior executives started in a quite peculiar way, he said that "right now their is no room in the entire world which has more potential than this room here" then he went to explain that "this room has atleast 10-15 CEO of mnc's 10-15 people who are going to lead some NGO and atleast 15-20 people who are going to be senior executives in BCG itself" this was quite an experience for me. Well those people out their have a perception that we are the best minds in the country and also in the world. With this privilege we have the responsibility to make it count, we have to prove that whatever perception they have has to maintained and enhanced further, its upto us now to prove that we really are the best minds in the world.

Proving you are worth it(IIT)

Well surviving IIT is one thing but proving you are worth is something you achieve not so simply. Even though you may have given the toughest technical exam but that's not just enough to earn the respect from the IIT faculties and also from the Under Grad students. You have to be exceptional along with being earthy, you have to keep aside your ego under the hood until and unless you are accepted as being one among them. Well this according to me is not that simple a task, you suffer from various feelings like inferiority complex, defensiveness or simply denial. One suffering from inferiority complex would have accepted that he is not as worthy of being into IIT as those who had cleared JEE and taken admission and when that happens as an defense mechanism he starts taunting them if they are not capable of doing something that he feels is easy. That is something which develops some kind of rudeness in your behavior and that keeps on increasing. Some people out-right deny that they are not as good as the Under Grad students, as per them they are either better-off or on par with them, but this as per me might not be true for everyone. Some people who have great achievements to their credit might proclaim that they are not as bad but many of us have not done what this people do here so its quite true that we might not be as good as many of them, i have used "many of them" intentionally because there are so many things done here that everyone has done some or other thing and the attitude that this guys have comes from there. I feel attitude is the thing which differentiates an IITian from other people, he is confident that he can achieve anything, this thing is fed into their brain since they enter, they are constantly told that because they are into IIT they should be acting so. They are conditioned in a manner wherein they are prepared to succeed i find this missing in the state level college's where you are constantly bogged down or else you are not provided with enough opportunity or else you are not shown the path to create opportunities, this people here are so much into extra-curricular activities that its obvious they will have different attitude and will have some arrogance cause its required if you have to lead or execute something which you feel is great. I feel the attitude they have is something which one should develop to succeed but it should not get to your head then you can do wonders. The Under Grad student's stay on the campus longer and their brain's are still receptive when they enter so they can be conditioned in the manner you want them to, but with post grad its completely different they are atleast 4 years older and already been through college so much of the part of their growing up is over, now its upto them to unlearn what is fixed in their mind and start learning new things. That is something which many of the student might not be comfortable with but that is the truth, other way being that at least open up your mind to new things and along with old ideas learn new things and new attitude that would help you to go a long way. I wish to prove down the line that "I am worth it(IIT)".